Caring Conversations - The Untold Story
The Caring Conversations model that emanated from an ELCIC National Church Council meeting in 1999 has been described as "an opportunity for members of the ELCIC to listen to the experiences of gay and lesbian people and their families". Sounds reasonable enough that members of the church body should be sensitized to the experiences and feelings of gay and lesbian persons among us in a Christian context. However, in the hands of some, the Caring Conversations model has been shaped into something decidedly different - a vehicle to move the church towards accepting same-sex blessings and the ordination of non-celibate homosexuals. How can this be? Read on.
Origins of the Caring Conversations Model
A "Guide for Caring Conversations" at the ELCIC web site [1] explains the origins of the Caring Conversations model, describes what it is, and provides a suggested format for a Caring Conversation.
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"What Is a Caring Conversation? A caring conversation is an opportunity for members of the ELCIC to listen to the experiences of gay and lesbian people and their families…"From: "Guide for Caring Conversations", appendix to Erwin Buck, Study on Homosexuality and the Church, Evangelical Lutheran Church in Canada, 2001.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------According to the guide, the expressed hope is that by participating in such listening events, "the ELCIC and its congregations will begin to extend a genuine welcome to those sisters and brothers in Christ who are lesbian or gay".
Caring Conversations had its beginnings in March 1999 with the passage of a National Church Council (NCC) motion [2] stating that, as a long-term goal, the ELCIC, "would strive to create an environment which would enable the church to develop policies and ministries that will lead to a more inclusive and welcoming place for gay and lesbian people". That motion called for a National Church Council task group to develop a model to be commended to all ELCIC congregations, "where members of the ELCIC… are able to listen to the experiences of gay and lesbian people and their families". That motion also indicated that Lutherans Concerned [3], a lobby group for gays and lesbians, would "be utilized as consultants to the NCC task group in the development and implementation of the listening events". Finally, the motion required that the NCC "offer a workshop during the time of the 1999 convention to describe the model and process to interested delegates".
At the National Convention held in Regina, July 1999, Caring Conversations was one of six 1½-hour concurrent forums [4] (others included, for example, child poverty, AIDS) offered to the convention delegates. A day later, the convention delegates passed motion NC-99-25 [5].
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NC-99-25 MS That the convention affirm the action of Council in taking steps to create an environment that assists the church in becoming a more inclusive and welcoming place for gay and lesbian persons.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------It is noteworthy that a motion (NC-99-23) [5] to involve other groups besides Lutherans Concerned groups which emphasized transformational ministry, such as Exodus International and FLIGHT Ministries in the discussion of ministry to homosexual persons was defeated. This exclusion of other ministries sends a message that the ELCIC has chosen to align itself only with Lutherans Concerned and their unique perspective on ministry to homosexual persons [6], a perspective that probably to this day influences how the ELCIC leadership approaches the homosexuality issue.
While some have described the Caring Conversations model as having been "overwhelmingly affirmed by the 1999 Regina convention" [7], such a perspective is an exaggeration on several counts. First of all, the 1999 Convention minutes simply record the motion (NC-99-25) as having been "carried". Without a recorded vote, it is problematic at best to declare that the motion was "overwhelmingly affirmed". Secondly, given that not all of the convention delegates would have attended the Caring Conversations forum (only one of the six concurrent forums offered), it is likely that many of the delegates voting for motion NC-99-25 did not fully understand the Caring Conversations model. According to the public record for the 1999 Convention and motion NC-99-25, a specific well-defined Caring Conversations model per se was not affirmed by the 1999 Regina National Convention. In fact, there was no specific reference to a Caring Conversations model in the motion. Instead, the delegates gave the National Church Council a green light, a fairly open-ended green light at that, with respect to its "taking steps to create an environment that assists the church in becoming a more inclusive and welcoming place for gay and lesbian persons". Furthermore, it is reported at the ELCIC's web site [8] that, "Subsequent(emphasis added) to these motions (that is, the 1999 NCC and Convention motions), a model called Caring Conversations was developed that enabled members of the ELCIC to listen to the experiences of gay and lesbian people". Erwin Buck's Studies on Homosexuality and the Church document [9], which was distributed to all ELCIC congregations in 2002, included the Caring Conversations model as an appendix. Clearly, the delegates to the 1999 National Convention could not have "overwhelmingly affirmed" something that was developed and revealed (as an appendix to Buck's document) more than two years after the convention.
The Kitchener/Waterloo Caring Conversations Model
The Caring Conversations model has been actively promoted in the ELCIC's Eastern Synod through a series of events hosted by the Synod's Kitchener/Waterloo Conference.
At this point it is worth remembering that the Caring Conversations model at the time of the 1999 Regina Convention was little more that a concept which, in terms of content and format, took on a little more definition in the appendix (Guide for Caring Conversations) to Erwin Buck's document, Studies on Homosexuality and the Church, which appeared more than two years after the 1999 convention. The organizers of the Kitchener/Waterloo Caring Conversations events have taken this concept and fashioned it to suit their particular point of view and purpose, which is not necessarily representative of the view of many in the synod.
Between the fall of 2002 and the fall of 2004, five Caring Conversations events have been sponsored and hosted by the Eastern Synod's Kitchener/Waterloo Conference. The purpose of the October 2002 meeting [10], "Bringing Caring Conversations to Our Congregations" a clergy in-service day, was to encourage and help parish pastors to initiate the Caring Conversations process in their own congregations. Somewhat of a departure from the Caring Conversations concept as originally described in the appendix to Erwin Buck's Studies on Homosexuality and the Church document, this event included a plenary presentation by Waterloo Lutheran Seminary professors related to the Bible and same-sex passages ("Reading the Bible for Today: A Lutheran Approach to Same-Sex Passages"). The plenary session was followed by four concurrent workshops which covered topics such as same-sex passages in the Bible, the sharing of pastoral and lay experiences with respect to initiating and leading Caring Conversations in their congregations, and strategies for addressing concerns about the Caring Conversations process. The event concluded with a panel discussion ("What significant questions does this issue present for you and what are you doing to address those questions?") which included several Eastern Synod pastors along with the Eastern Synod bishop as members of the panel.
A second Caring Conversations event [11], a clergy and laity in-service, was held in February 2003. This event, like the first, primarily followed a workshop format, and this time included an even greater contribution from Waterloo Lutheran Seminary professors. These faculty members gave their perspective on how the Bible speaks to, or does not speak to, the issue of homosexuality; none of these presentations defended the church's traditional teaching.
Caring Conversations 3, held in October 2003, offered/modelled a "caring conversation" proper [12]. The event was also publicized as being helpful to the many people reflecting on the Reconciling in Christ 'Affirmation of Welcome' motion which was to come before the Eastern Synod Assembly in June 2004.
In connection with the Kitchener/Waterloo Caring Conversations events, the participants to Caring Conversations 3 were directed to a special web page [13] created to provide "helpful resources and links". At the web page it is explained that its purpose is: i) To assist the community of Trinity (New Hamburg, Ontario) with its ongoing Caring Conversations, ii) to assist the communities of the Kitchener/Waterloo Conference and surrounding conferences in holding Caring Conversations and in adopting Affirmations of Welcome, and iii) to assist the wider church community in its conversation around the issues of welcoming gay people and of blessing same-sex relationships. A perusal of this web page will convince any perceptive visitor that it represents a fairly liberal perspective towards issues like blessing same-sex unions. For example, the list of organizations considered to "offer a compassionate witness with respect to matters related to homosexuality and the place of GLBT Christians in the church" has Lutherans Concerned/North America at the head of the list along with other organizations such as Claiming the Blessing Canada [14] a "group of Anglican clergy and lay people who wish to see the Anglican Church of Canada extend blessings to same-sex couples". Conspicuously absent are organizations which offer a healing approach to homosexuality, organizations such as Exodus International and FLIGHT Ministries. Also, featured at the web-page is a running tally of what Canadian ministries (besides the ELCIC's Eastern Synod) have been added to the RIC roster by Lutherans Concerned / North America. In summary, the web page connected with the Caring Conversations events promoted by the Eastern Synod's Kitchener/Waterloo Conference clearly reveals the particular orientation of these events.
The Caring Conversations 4 event [15], held in March 2004, was billed as "a bridge to the 2004 Eastern Synod Assembly" and included the "experience of other congregations, communities and synods which have embraced an Affirmation of Welcome" and examined "the particular Affirmation of Welcome statement which is to come before the Eastern Synod Assembly". One of the leaders for this session was Emily Eastwood, director of Lutherans Concerned/North America's Reconciling in Christ (RIC) program, sponsor of the Affirmation of Welcome statement. Ms. Eastwood gave a presentation entitled, "Reconciling in Christ…Affirmation of Welcome…What do they mean?" It was evident from the agenda, the line-up of "leaders" for this event, and the day's proceedings that the meeting's main purpose was to convince participants of the merit of the Synod Assembly adopting the original Affirmation of Welcome or some derivative welcome statement. For an event hosted/sponsored by the Kitchener/Waterloo Conference and intended to help people make up their minds about the RIC motion, the inclusion of speakers representing a contrary view with respect to the RIC motion would have added much-needed balance and fairness to the event. Another incident indicative of the unfairness of the event was the rejection by the event organizers to make available to the participants a paper written by a synod member [16] that was not supportive of adopting the RIC's Affirmation of Welcome statement. This brings to mind an article which describes a trend within the ELCA of "increasing suppression of the classic biblical perspective on human sexuality" [17].
The most recent event in the Kitchener/Waterloo series [18], Caring Conversations 5, took place in October 2004 and looked at ways that congregations and communities might respond to the Eastern Synod's 'Affirmation of Welcome' (actually it was a "statement of welcome", but the Caring Conversations authors choose to use jargon associated with Lutherans Concerned), "by devising Affirmations of Welcome of their own, by initiating Caring Conversations and by considering various opportunities and challenges arising from the Eastern Synod motion". A member of the "Leadership Team" for this event, Rev. Phil Heinze, Assistant to the Bishop, Eastern Synod, spoke at a plenary session on the topic, "Welcoming Motion - A Clear Direction".
A future Kitchener/Waterloo Caring Conversations event announced for Spring 2005 is intended to "assist congregations in matters related to the Eastern Synod's blessing motion by which the ELCIC has been asked to explore the possibility of same-sex blessings being a 'local option' in the ELCIC." An issue such as same-sex blessings certainly could benefit from dialogue and discussion. However, seeing a Caring Conversations process being linked to same-sex blessings and, particularly one perspective on this issue, further illustrates how the process has been hijacked to promote a political agenda.
'Caring Conversations' are not Conversations
As per the 2002 "Guide for Caring Conversations", in such 'conversations' "divisive, argumentative and judging behaviour is inappropriate and unwelcome". Accordingly, it is not a conversation or a discussion, in the sense that people on both sides of the conversation are allowed to discuss what is on their minds and hearts. In that sense the "caring conversation" must be considered a one-sided conversation.
What's more, apparently absent from the 'conversation' are those who are struggling to free themselves from a homosexual lifestyle through the power of Christian ministry. In fact, considering the exclusive involvement of Lutherans Concerned and not other organizations that offer a transformational ministry (remember that a motion to include such ministries was defeated at the 1999 National Convention) as consultants to the ELCIC, such considerations do not appear to be tolerated in the Caring Conversations model. If indeed the church is taking such a position, then in doing so the church is failing to equip congregations to engage in the ministry of healing to which we are called.
Caring Conversations Gone Awry
With the reshaping of the Caring Conversations model within the Eastern Synod's Kitchener/Waterloo Conference we see more and more a departure from the original concept of the Caring Conversations model which was to provide "an opportunity for members of the ELCIC to listen to the experiences of gay and lesbian people and their families". In the hands of the framers of the Kitchener/Waterloo Caring Conversations events, the Caring Conversations model appears to have been politicized to move congregations towards becoming RIC congregations (as defined by Lutherans Concerned) and ultimately towards becoming comfortable with change such as blessing same-sex unions. That such is the intent is apparent from an article ("Advent, North York, Applies to Become a Reconciling in Christ Congregation") in the January 2002 Eastern Synod Lutheran and the subsequent April 2002 issue, which outlined for Advent the "steps their congregation took to become a 'Reconciling in Christ' congregation in November of 2001". The first step in this process was to engage the congregation in the Caring Conversations program. Advent subsequently told the Synod Council (Eastern Synod Lutheran, April 2002) that "their congregation could not have come to this place of affirmation and welcome toward gay and lesbian people without the Caring Conversations initiative". This indicates that the Caring Conversations program is looked upon as an essential step in moving a congregation towards the adoption of an "Affirmation of Welcome" in order to become an RIC congregation affiliated with Lutherans Concerned/North America's RIC program. With Lutherans Concerned's current practice of adding congregations and synods to their RIC roster without the congregations (or synods [19]) requesting such rostering, congregations adopting welcome statements will likely quickly find themselves added to Lutherans Concerned's roster of RIC congregations.
Knowing what the delegates to the 1999 Regina convention actually approved and how the framers of the Kitchener/Waterloo Caring Conversations series have shaped the Caring Conversations program to support their own political purpose, it is disingenuous of them, in the guise of imparting some special legitimacy and ELCIC endorsement, to trumpet that the Caring Conversations model, especially their version of Caring Conversations, was "overwhelmingly affirmed by the 1999 Regina National Convention".
Posted November 25, 2004
Re-Posted November 30,2004Note: Because a presentation by Emily Eastwood (director of Lutherans Concerned/North America's 'Reconciling in Christ' (RIC) program) and the showing of the video "Is Ex-Gay a False Hope?" (a video carrying the message that ministries and therapies that try to change a person's sexual orientation do not work and cause harm) took place in April 2003 at the same church (Mount Zion, Waterloo) where the Caring Conversations 3 event was held in October 2003, some participants mistakenly recalled the April event as being Caring Conversations 3. Accordingly, previous references to these events as being a part of Caring Conversation 3 have been removed from the article previously posted on November 25, 2004.
